


Geoff's Boys

by JinniaFlyer450



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Gen, You Decide, maybe kind of shippy?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7097089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JinniaFlyer450/pseuds/JinniaFlyer450
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. It is the year 2350. Elderly and wheelchair-bound, eccentric and rich Geoff Ramsey commissions several robotic caretakers that also serve as companions. These are random glimpses into their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Get To Bed, Geoff

“Come on, boys! I’m not tired!” Geoff shook his head adamantly, clinging to the glass Michael was attempting to pry out of his hand.

Jack sighed. “Yes, you are. Our sensors can detect that, if you remember. We’re kind of attuned to your well-being.”

“Fuck that, it’s my party and I’m gonna be here until it’s finished!” Jack already had the old man’s chair by its handles and was pushing it up the ramp toward his quarters on the second floor of the mansion.

Michael scowled. “Yeah, right. Now let go of the damn glass. I don’t want to put you in any kind of pain, but I might have to use a little more force if you don’t. Gavin can handle the guests on his own, as funny as that is to say. He was fucking programmed for that, Geoff. Now, let’s get your exhausted old ass to bed before you pass out in your chair.”

Geoff sighed, letting go of the glass. “Fine. You boys have got my number. I’ll go to bed. Even though it’s nine PM. Damn, you’re strict.” A snort. “When I was your age…”

“You mean our apparent age.” Jack said, gentle. He rested a hand on Geoff’s shoulder.

“Yeah. At our _actual age_ , you were skinning knees on the playground, you doddery old coot.” Michael smirked.

Geoff snorted. “Fine. At your _apparent age_ , I could party best of anyone I knew! Why, there was one night when I…” And off he went. Man, the old guy could talk. Michael quite literally tuned him out, lowering the volume on his voice through specialized noise sensors. He sent a few short pings to Jack, the words flashing over a corner of Jack’s vision.

_He taken his pills?_

_Yes. Got him to do it a couple of hours ago._

_Thank God. You know I don’t like to have to help you, and I’m pretty sure Ryan’s tending bar for the party. He wouldn’t like having to fix something just to get the old man to swallow some damn medicine._

_You’re telling me. You’re not usually the one that has to coax him into it. You’re the bolthead guarding the door._

_Again, thank God._

Jack smirked, sending Michael a quick sign-off ping before nodding at Geoff’s story.  It was one he’d told at least twice that night. Best not to tell him that, though, for fear of sending him into a funk over his failing memory. Jack had made that mistake before. Gavin _still_ made that mistake, bless his heart.

“…and that’s how I ended up in the drunk tank that night! Pretty crazy, huh?” Geoff winked.

“Yes, definitely. Did I mention I’m glad I can’t consume alcohol?”

“Aw, man, that’s right. You guys are totally missing out! I heard they were going to come out with some sort of system soon that would let, you know, people like you eat and shit like that. Would you be interested in that?”

“…Maybe. At least for some of the things Ryan makes. They smell heavenly.”

“Aw shit, really?” Michael perked up. “That’d be awesome.”

Geoff flashed both of them a shit-eating grin. “Thought so.”

Jack paused in front of the bathroom and nodded at Michael. Michael nodded in return and took up his post outside the door. Jack wheeled Geoff into the bathroom and passed over a toothbrush and toothpaste. After Geoff had brushed his teeth, Jack took him into the bedroom and helped him dress for bed, being gentle so as not to hurt him. Eventually, the old man was helped into bed, Jack taking his usual position in a chair beside the bed to talk him to sleep.

He could tell from his implanted GPS that Michael was outside, guarding the bedroom, as he would be for the rest of the night. Michael was the only one of them that didn’t have a sleep cycle. Jack didn’t like to think about why, but it was a necessary evil; Geoff was rich enough to attract an unwanted element. Technically, none of them needed to sleep, but it did help with functioning. God knows that Ryan had had to fix Michael’s internal systems more often than any of the others.

“Jack?” Geoff seemed pensive. His eyes were closed, and he lay back in the bed.

“Yes?”

“I’m getting really fucking old, aren’t I?” A sigh.

“You could say that.” Jack had known Geoff long enough to know that the truth, softened as it may be, was the best response here. They both knew the answer, after all.

“Come on, man, I’m one hundred and fifty-two, they don’t get much older than that.” He opened his eyes, looking over at Jack, almost pleading. “Will it hurt?”

“I hope not,” Jack reached out, laying a hand on Geoff’s shoulder.

A weak smile. “Yeah, me too.” There was silence for a while, and eventually Jack could hear snoring. A light smile crossed his face as he rose from the chair, plodded silently along the carpet, and closed the door, turning off the lights. Michael nodded at Jack again; Jack nodded back, then started trotting down the other hallway.

_Sleep mode?_ Michael again. It would be unusual for one of Geoff’s staff to go sleep so early in the night at one of his parties, but Jack was a caretaker to a man who’d fallen asleep. He could afford it, especially since if Geoff’s vital signs showed any distress, he would automatically wake.

_Sleep mode. Good night, Michael_.

_Night, Jack._

Jack opened the door to his bedroom, climbed into bed, and pondered his surroundings for a moment. It was rare for someone like him to use sleep mode in an actual bed, but Geoff had insisted. _“You’re all my staff and my boys, I’m going to take care of you.”_

Jack smiled, replaying the memory in his head once, then switched himself off for the night.


	2. Plan G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin has some technical difficulties. He gets better.

“Hello, this is tech support for Voltaire Incorporated, how may I help you?” While it did appear to be a real voice, it sounded sterile. As if the speaker had had to deal with this one too many times today. Geoff could almost hear the strained smile.

“Hello?” Geoff creaked out, impatient.

“Yes, sir? How may I help you today?”

“I was calling about one of your products. The line of unique ro--er, mechs.”

The woman’s voice softened at the man’s avoidance of the obvious word. The hot-button word. The nasty word. “What about it, sir?”

“I’m, well, concerned about one I just purchased. He has an Emotional Core, I checked to make sure. But it doesn’t seem to be active, and it’s been two weeks. My other boys, they’ve gotten in tune with theirs within days. I’m just…worried.”

“Oh. Well, Emotional Cores are a relatively new technology. There are still bugs in the system that we need to work out. It could be that your…mech is just taking a long time to get in tune with theirs. It could also be that there are problems with the software or hardware that need extra assistance. If your mech is still under warranty, we can send out a combination mechanic-programmer to see if there’s anything to fix.”

“His. I asked him, he’s definitely male. And he is. When’s the earliest you can send someone out?”

“A week, sir.”

“Good. How does 11 AM sound?” Geoff allowed himself a smile.

“That’s doable. Where should we send them?”

While Geoff and the woman hashed out the details, Geoff heard the door open behind him. He turned his chair, confused.

Gavin stood there, face blank, as always. A gentle smile from Geoff. He respectfully signed off of the phone call and nodded. “Hello, Gavin.”

“Hello.” The boy responded in his normal British monotone. Most would have called it creepy. Unnatural. That had been the main psychological barrier to the general public purchasing mechs before the advent of Emotional Cores, after all. The hardware was realistic enough to avoid uncanny valley, but the software? Not a chance. Geoff didn’t mind, though. This is what Gavin was for the time being. “You were speaking to someone about connecting me to my Emotional Core.”

“Yes.” Geoff had found it was best to speak to Gavin in a very literal, straight-forward manner.

“I have been studying my Emotional Core for a while now. I can mimic its effects if it would please you.” Gavin blinked.

“That’s not what I want, Gavin. I don’t need anyone putting on a mask for me. God knows the people around me do enough of that. If this is who you are right now, then shit, I can live with it. Is there any particular reason you thought of this?”

Gavin nodded, stiff. Formal. “It is in my programming to do as you would like. I know that most humans do not tolerate Core-less mechs well. It was a logical thing to ask.”

“Fair enough. Have there been any changes in your mental state since we last spoke?”

“…That is what I was approaching to report.” For the first time, an…expression crossed Gavin’s face. Confusion? Maybe. Geoff leaned forward in his chair, interested.

“Hm?”

“I…I suppose one could say I had an idea. A very illogical idea.”

Geoff dared to hope, a shot of anticipation building in his stomach. “And that idea was?”

“Well, Michael was patrolling the perimeter of the house, as he usually does in the afternoons. I don’t know if you know this or not, but he generally shuts down critical thinking functionality when he’s on patrol. It saves energy, and it automatically reactivates if something unusual happens, such as the approach of a new person on the house-wide GPS system.”

“Huh. Go on.”

“When he’s not using critical thinking, he uses landmarks on the map to orient himself. They aren’t physical landmarks per se—more cyber-marks on the map. He’s placed four of them at the four corners of the map for his afternoon patrol. The thing is, the type of cyber-marks he uses are common to all of us. And I was wondering—no, not wondering, I already know the answer, but thinking—I was thinking about what would happen if I were to move the marks. In different shapes I mean.”

“Do you have any idea of why?” Geoff dared to hope even more. Maybe, just maybe…

“Because…I don’t…I don’t know. I don’t understand. My exact thought was ‘I could make him go in a little circle and see how long it takes him to figure it out.’ Or, ‘I could try to get him to crash into a wall’. It would put you in danger, which goes against my programming, but I just thought…just thought…”

A massive, dopey grin was spreading over Geoff’s face. “You thought it would be funny. Is that it?”

The look of confusion deepened. “…Yes. I think that’s it. I thought it would be funny. That…seems…like the right word. Funny. Is that okay?”

“Of course that’s okay, Gavin. It’s normal. People find things funny all the time. It’s a common thought, linked to a common emotion. Is there anything else you find funny?”

Gavin paused. The corners of his lips twitched. “Mostly Michael, at least for now. He elicits a lot of that…thought…feeling-thing from me. The way he reacts to certain things is just so _illogical_ , and…snrk…” A blink. Back to confusion—and a little fear.

A reassuring smile from Geoff. “N-no, that’s okay, that’s just laughter. It’s what happens when people find things especially funny.”

“W-what am I feeling now?” Gavin seemed to be having trouble despite Geoff’s reassurance.

“Fear, most likely. That’s okay. This is all new to you, I can’t expect you to be completely fine with it from the get-go.”

“Oh. I mean, I’m familiar with all of these emotions, I’ve just never…you know…” Gavin’s shoulders relaxed. A hint of relief. Just a hint for now, of course; Geoff imagined it would take a while longer for Gavin’s sluggish Emotional Core to truly warm up. At least it seemed to work. That was the important thing. “I…have one more thing to ask.”

“Oh?” Geoff tilted his head to one side, wheeling somewhat closer to Gavin.

“Could you…not tell the others that my Emotional Core is starting to work? I…have an idea.”

Geoff snorted. “You want to use it to your advantage, do you?”

The corners of Gavin’s mouth twitched. “You could say that.”

==============================================================================================================

Perhaps he’d made a mistake in letting Gavin keep that bit of information to himself, Geoff mused, staring out the window as Ray and Michael nearly came to blows over the fact that _someone_ painted all the roses white while Ray had slept, and Jack would never do that and why would Gavin do that when there’s no logical reason for it _you asshole_.

“Oh, yeah? Well, it wasn’t me! I had to keep watch outside Geoff’s room. Your move, dickbag!”

"Well, I can’t think of anyone else it could be, so why don’t you—“

Snrk.

Michael and Ray turned toward Gavin, stunned. The faux-Brit had one hand over his mouth, almost choking. He looked around, realizing the jig was up. “Oh my _God_ , the looks on your faces right now!”

“Gavin, are you fucking SERIOUS?” Michael snapped, looking about ready to break his nose.

“No, actually, I’m not. Isn’t it _wonderful_?” Gavin broke into peals of laughter, banging a fist on the dining-room table.

Ray pinched the bridge of his nose. “Uh, Geoff, can we turn his Emotional Core back off?”

Geoff shook his head. He could…get used to the new Gavin.


	3. You Deserve It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night out turns ugly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, guys, if you have any problems with fictional/fantastical prejudice interfering with your fluff, you may want to skip this chapter. Some ugly words and actions are spouted that may seem a little close to real-world prejudice. Not by any of the guys, of course. Also, don't expect this rate of updating forever--I just have some free time and the writing bug bit me HARD.
> 
> Also, if anyone wants to RP with me, I've set up a Gavin Free RP blog at cryingoverspiltheadlightfluid.tumblr.com. Hit me up, please!

“Uh…I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jack said, hesitant.

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun! Team Gents, out for a little carousing!” Geoff winked, grabbing Jack’s hand in his left and Ryan’s hand in his right.

Ryan smirked. “Waiting on the ‘no homo’, old man.”

“Boy, I don’t care about that anymore. I can’t get it up any more than you can nowadays, no matter who it is I’m supposed to be getting it up for.” Dry laughs all around. “Anyway, you’ll like it where I’m planning on taking you. It’s a mech bar, so you’ll fit right in.”

Jack seemed to relax a little. “If you say so.”

“Then it’s settled! We’ll leave the Lads to hold down the fort. You can drive, Ryan. I’ll send you the directions.” Geoff whipped out his phone. With a few taps of a screen, Ryan received the information. The bar was in the next town over. Ryan looked over at Jack. beginning to push the chair toward the front door.

_Still nervous?_ He tilted his head to one side almost imperceptibly.

_Yeah. You’ve never been out on the town with Geoff. You wouldn’t know._

_Wouldn’t know what? He can’t be that crazy, the guy’s passed his sesquicentennial._

_It’s not him I’m worried about. Let’s hope it doesn’t turn out like last time._

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The music was loud; the lights were intense. Thank God mechs couldn’t get headaches. Jack noticed, to his satisfaction, that the lights were flashing out “1-2-3-4” repeatedly in binary, coinciding with the beat of the music. Yes, definitely a mech-oriented establishment. There were a few humans here, Geoff among them, but most of the patrons were mechs, likely on break from human employers. He could tell that some of them were using a disposable patch to their Emotional Cores that allowed for an intoxicated mental state, weaving, randomly spitting out binary, steadying themselves against walls. He considered purchasing and using it himself, but decided against it—he had a human to watch.

_Couldn’t ditch him_? The tag accompanying the text read “Barbara Dunkelman”. Jack looked around and located the source—a blonde female mech in a red dress.

_Oh, you mean Geoff? He brought me here, actually. Wouldn’t have come otherwise._

_Huh. That’s kind of funny. Most humans wouldn’t go to places like this._

_Yeah. I don’t think he would have either except for the fact that he can’t really go alone anymore, and…we’ve had bad experiences at human-oriented places._

_You and me both._ A sigh. _Wait, he actually gives a shit about how they treat you? Lucky dog. My employer drags me all over the place. Including the “not so mech-friendly” places._

_Yeah, I know. He’s a good guy. If I had to work for someone, I’m glad it was him._ A smile.

_Come with anyone else?_

Jack looked around and scowled. _Yes, actually. He’s the idiot arguing with the patchmaster. Probably shouldn’t have brought someone who’s a damn good programmer in his own right to a mech bar._

_Programmer? So he could hook me up with some bootlegs? Stronger stuff than the patchmaster sells?_ A mischievous glint shone in Barbara’s eyes.

_Yes, but I’m not going to let him. That’s all kinds of illegal. Besides, do you really want to get that fucked up?_

_You’re no fun, you know that?_ A snort. _Come on, the law screws us over, the least we can do is thumb our noses at it._

_Yeah, no. Rather not end up in jail_. _Or get Geoff in jail for employing misbehaving mechs. Ryan does have a license to sell his own patches, but even he can’t sell patches that put a mech at less than 50% physical or mental capacity. He does some pretty creative stuff within the limits set out for him, though._

_Like what?_ Barbara leaned in.

_Try a “talk like a pirate” patch. We all used that one until it got old._

_Sounds like a chill dude._ A snort. _And a fun group._

_Sure. Until you screw with his knives. Then he’s not so chill. And yeah, we have a pretty good time together. When we’re not fucking with each other, that is._

_How many of you are there?_

_Five._

_Five?_ Barbara’s expression was almost wistful. _Damn._

Jack paused. The noise from the counter was getting louder. _Nice meeting you, but I think I’m going to go defuse this_.

_Gotcha._ Barbara watched after Jack as he left, sighing.

=====================================================================================

Jack pushed the chair down the sidewalk and into the parking garage, Ryan trotting behind him. The latter was fuming. “He made a rookie mod mistake, how I was I supposed to just let that go?

“And you really think the best response was getting aggressive with him? Come on, man, give it a rest.”

“Well, I had to d—what the fuck is this?” The trio stopped, staring at Geoff’s car. The tires were slashed. A yellow piece of paper sat on the windshield.

Jack’s shoulders drooped. “Exactly what I was afraid of. Well, not exactly, but pretty damn close.”

Ryan plucked the piece of paper off the windshield. “Leave your robots at home where they belong. I see your car out here again, I break windows. No way for a red-blood to behave—X.” His hand began to tremble. He swore under his breath.

Jack and Geoff cringed on the third word. Geoff looked murderous; Jack just looked tired. “Just _what_ did that fucker say about you?” Geoff barked.

“I really don’t want to have to repeat it.” Ryan glowered, crumpling up the piece of paper and throwing it on the ground.

“No, pick that up. When we get home, we’re having the handwriting traced. Someone needs to get collared for property damage. Motherfucker!” Geoff almost roared, trembling. Ryan complied.

“Calm down, Geoff. It’s not good for your heart for you to be on like this.” Jack placed a hand on Geoff’s shoulder. Geoff shrugged it off.

“ _I’ll_ tell you what’s not good for my heart! Some purist saying my boys don’t deserve a night out with others like them!” A shudder. Deathly quiet. “Because you do, okay? I don’t…I can’t get you the way other mechs can. I wish I could, but I can’t. And it has to get boring talking to the same ones all the time. That’s why I took you here. Though I had a pretty good time too, and don’t think I didn’t.”

A long pause. Jack leaned over and hugged Geoff, closing his eyes. Geoff patted him on the back before he pulled away. Ryan took Geoff’s hand and squeezed it.

“I…I’m sorry it turned out like this, boys.” Geoff sighed, lowering his head.

“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known. I’ll go get some new tires. There’s a shop a few blocks over.” Jack began walking away. Ryan loaded Geoff into the car.

In the end, they drove home in silence.


End file.
